Waking life can be a nightmare, this much we know, and in the spirit of that, we kick off Jezebel’s favorite time of year: Our annual scary stories contest, in search of YOUR most terrifying and fucked up real-life stories. Past years’ winners have made me literally afraid to sleep in my own house for weeks on end. Let’s begin. Who can tell the spooooooookiest tale of all? If you’re new to this, here are the rules; if you’re not, congratulations, the rules are the same: Leave your scary stories in the comments. Or email me at [email protected] The cut-off for sending in your scary stories is October 25, 2018—please do not send me scary stories after that, as I like to compartmentalize my scared feelings with a concrete beginning and end, and I do not want to be spooked in November. (We already have midterms to deal with.) The story must be true. Don’t make it up. This is a contest for the best stories about the scariest things … [Read more...] about It’s the Scariest Time of the Year: Send Us Your True-Life Spookiest Stories!
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Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here. By now, you know that this promises to be a record-setting season for NFL offenses. All of the tweaks and tworks and flarts that the NFL made to its rulebook in the name of “safety” were really just designed to artificially goose offensive production, and those changes have already borne fruit. There have never been as many passing touchdowns in the first four weeks of a season, and it’s not close. Same with passing yards and passer rating (in fact, the average passer rating this season is two points higher than Joe Montana’s CAREER passer rating). There have never been as many 400-yard passing games in the first four weeks of a season (last week busted a league record with five such games in a single slate). There have never been this many points scored in the first four weeks of a season. This is Patrick Mahomes’s … [Read more...] about Today I Declare To You That The Following Wideouts Are Dogshit
A note before starting: Much of this was written before the Saturday, Sept. 22nd heavyweight title fight between Anthony Joshua and Alexander Povetkin held at Wembley Stadium in London, hence the two parts to the piece—before Wembley, and then upon arrival and afterwards. There is a lot of speculation in the piece about what might happen in the fight, about the atmosphere at Wembley, and, up until the last minute, about whether or not I’d actually get in. Some of what I wrote turned out to be accurate; some didn’t. To borrow a quote from Wladimir Klitschko (before a fight he lost to Anthony Joshua), “I’m not Nostradamus.” Part One: Before Wembley I’ve been thinking about fame—about who has it, who gets it and how they do, ways that it can be amplified, diminished, and usurped—and about how under certain circumstances even regional fame can be extreme fame in terms of generated revenue and fanatical obsession. I’ve … [Read more...] about Fame And Fantasy In The Heavyweight Battle Of The Atlantic
Jalopnik Reviews All of our test drives in one convenient place. “You can’t know where you’re going until you know where you’ve been” is the kind of lame, sing-song fortune cookie saying you get from time to time in lieu of an actual fortune. And while on most days, I think it’s merely a hokey way of reminding people that the past is important, when it involves two very special Mercedes-Benz convertibles 60 years apart in age, it has its place. The extraordinarily nice thing about the car community is most everyone’s willingness to share. We might have different tastes and come from all walks of life, but we’re always happy to chat cars and check out what other people’ve got. One day, at the end of last August, I received an email from Todd Jenkins in Richmond, Virginia, who wrote in to say that he had a 1957 Mercedes-Benz 300SL Roadster that he was willing to have me come drive. You don’t turn down an email like … [Read more...] about The Mercedes-AMG GT C Roadster And Mercedes-Benz 300SL Roadster Both Hail From A Golden Age
State Of The Nation Welcome to State of the Nation, a five-part series about North Carolina's pivotal role in American history over the past 50 years. Norma Rae was a lie. Maybe lie is too strong. And maybe that reference is a bit dated. But still, watching the movie coming up on 40 years later, the message that it wants to sit with you as the credits roll feels more like a half-truth; a prettier lie, then. A piece without a realistic end—there’s not much money to be made in a film with a climax of a mill closing up shop. But Norma Rae exists as a pop-culture historical moment nonetheless, one preserved by the United States Library of Congress in 2011. If you’ve seen the film, you remember one thing, it’s the ending. It’s Sally Field standing atop a table with her “UNION” sign while the deafening looms on the floor are switched off one-by-one in a final, victorious show of support. The union wins the vote by a narrow margin, and Norma ends … [Read more...] about The Murder of Mill Town, USA